That's right folks, step right up, and watch as this pathetic seventeen year old girl spills out a nightmare come true.

Grah. I make. The stupidest mistakes.
I take people for granted too much, and if I have ever done anything like that to any of you who are reading this, I'm so fucking sorry.

There are like...no roleplayers at all that I am finding. Now, you probably don't care, or don't see it as a big deal, but I'll tell you honestly now, that is how I cope with things, and that is how I get by.
By living in fantasy.

I had a great partner. She quit shortly before the New Year (of last year). All of my characters were tied in closely with hers. It was a painful, hard good bye. That was...perhaps 2 years of putting together all of our writing saving it, and making some killer stories...all gone down the drain.

I can't tell you WHY she quit, because honestly, I don't even know. She didn't even give me much of a goodbye, it was a sort of slow disappearence.

Well, I got over it. Moved on, I suppose you could say. It was still pretty easy to pick up new and willing participents to roleplay with ;D
Had Arin for awhile. Knew her in real life too. We even acted out some of our stories, and it was really fantastic. (Considering I want to go into acting possibly)
Well, that ended too. She was suddenly...'too cool' to hang out with me I guess? You know...gone all boy-obsessive. You know the type.

I mean...I like guys just as much as the next girl. But when you start to get all stupid about it, and don't talk about anything else. It just makes you look stupid. Seriously.

Ah. And then we get to my most recent.
Christy.

For those of you who I haven't complained to yet...Christy was my best friend.
I didn't know her in real life, she lives in Canada. But everyday, after school I would have someone to talk to.

Yeh. I know. Stupid of me to rely on someone who I am friends with over the GODDAMN INTERNET. But hey.
I don't talk to anyone in real life. I'm actually pretty shy. Plus. The people in my grade/school are pieces of shit. I would be ashamed to even say that I KNOW them.

I was going through some pretty rough times with my stepfather. She knew everything. There wasen't a single thing in my life, that she didn't listen to, and at least try to understand.
I loved her for that. I miss her for that.
I loved having someone who would just stop and listen once in awhile about what the fuck I have to say.

Well. All good things must come to an end, correct? Yes.
But this...this was just too unfair.

I had to go on a 7 day 'vacation' to Florida. Yeh. Vacation? More like Hell.
But we won't go into that, to spare you ;D

ANYWAY. When I came back, I was looking forward to roleplaying with Christy. Talking to her, explaining all the shit that happened to me while I was gone. But what I got was a slap in the face.

She didn't even acknowledge me. She blocked my screen name, and apparently quit DA, leaving me with practically no way to get ahold of her.
I thought it was weird.
At first, I was worried that something might be going on with her creepy stepfather, and I was so worried for her.

But no.

Through a series of...amazingly planned, manipulative lies and events (That I stupidly fell for. >< godfuck). She managed to steal my characters, my art, my designs, my years of hard work, my survival through my every fucking day.

I even get pissed off and cry about it now.
I remember thinking. "She's my best friend...she wouldn't do that to me...it must be some horrible mistake, or misunderstanding"

I really miss her. But I don't even know if she was ever genuine with me to begin with. I don't know what to think anymore.

And what makes things worse. Is that. I cannot find a single anthro roleplayer anywhere. I have no method of coping anymore.
And I very well may have to take some of my art down so Christy can't steal it.

I hate this.

Well, if you actually got through all of that...I praise you, and I can't thank you enough. It's good to have someone listen. :]